Because it's his Birthday!
by Pepperminz
Summary: Today is Francis' birthday, and he honestly cannot think of a better way to spend it than being held a sword point by his least favorite person in the world. Note the sarcasm.


Today is France's birthday. See, this is where I usually put a bunch of exclamation points to express my excitement. But I'm kinda neutral toward France. I like him enough to write him a birthday present, but not enough to add exclamation points. It's a weird place to be.

"There's nowhere else to run, Bonnefoy. I've got you now!" Arthur declared upon cornering his foe.

"Oh Artie, you and I both know that I've talked my way out of much worse." Francis replied with a smirk. Even having been disarmed, soundly beaten, and forced to the ground with his back against the side of Arthur's ship, Francis still felt the need mock his archival. Arthur let out a growl.

"And what makes you so certain that your charm will get you out of this mess?" He said, moving the point of his rapier closer to Francis' throat. "You know that your silver tongue has no effect on me." Upon hearing this, Francis's smirk only widened.

"Oh, is that so? What about that night in-"

"Enough!" Arthur roared, the tip of his rapier now dangerously close to cutting Francis's throat. "One more smart remark from you, and I'll-"

"You'll what?" Francis questioned the man towering over him. "You'll kill me? Go ahead, do it. You can't. You never could kill me. But who knows? Maybe this time will be different. But I doubt it." Francis taunted. Arthur slowly raised his rapier about his head. For the first time, a flicker of fear entered Francis' eyes.

"No!" a small boy, no more than eight or nine, shouted as he ran towards Francis and Arthur. He slid between the two, acting as a human barrier between them.

"Step aside, boy. This doesn't concern you." Arthur commanded, sword still raised above him.

The child clutched what appeared to be a stuffed bear close to his chest and cried, "You can't kill my Papa, mister. You just can't!"

"Matthew, go back to the ship. It's not safe here. You need to leave." Francis said to the boy. The child simply shook his head and remained where he was, clearly adamant about protecting The older man.

Arthur sighed and lowered his sword. He then knelt down so that he was at eye level with Matthew. "And why shouldn't I?" Arthur asked him.

"Because it's his birthday." Matthew replied as if it were the most oblivious thing in the world. "And you can't kill someone on their birthday." Both adults stared at the boy in shock, and, in Francis' case, mild amusement.

"He's right!" another voice chimed in. The owner of said voice soon appeared, standing next to Matthew, between Arthur and Francis. "You can't kill someone on their birthday, that's just wrong!" the new boy said, nodding at Matthew, who promptly returned the gesture.

Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "Alfred, I told you to stay in my cabin."

By this time, Francis had regained his cocky attitude from before. "You'd better get your cabin boy back under control, Artie. Because right now, he's acting very undisciplined." Francis said to Arthur with a fake compassionate tone.

Arthur glared at Francis. "The words, 'pot', 'kettle', and 'black' come to mind. You're not doing much better, Franny."

"Oh, come on now. That wasn't even clever!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Fine! You know what? I'll let you go, this time. But only because I want you put of my sight, and off my ship." Arthur paused his rant to grab Alfred's arm. "I don't care if it's your bloody birthday or not, of you're still on my ship n the time I get back, I'll throw you in the brig till the boat rots. Savvy?" Francis stood and grabbed Matthew's hand.

"I do not wish to spend any longer on this hideous piece of driftwood you claim as a boat then I have to. Come on, Matthew." the two pirate captains stormed off in different directions. Silence prevailed on the deck for a moment, then;

"Wait, what just happened?"

~Extended Ending~

"Wow, Alfred. I'm impressed! You've been much quieter and much better behaved since our encounter with the frog."

"Oh, I'm sorry, mister. I'm Matthew."

"..."

"..."

"Bonefoy!"


End file.
